Given up smoking this month? Need something to do with your hands? Get a Kindle. And I know just the two books you can start off with - ha ha.
Seriously, I have never partaken of the weed so I was shocked that Stoptober had an effect on me. Stop in October doesn't mean stop buying my books. The minute trickle that was has ceased and I need a dam buster.
Now next month is what I like to call Govember. Yes, go to Amazon and download a little piece of mystery. The mystery being how to make a commercial success of an e-book. GOVEMBER! Yes, let's hope it catches on. Let it do for e-books what George Lucas did for E-woks.
GO ON! GOVEMBER!
If neither of my books make you laugh at least once then I'm a monkey's uncle. (Now, have you heard about my nephew Cheetah.)
Of course, GOVEMBER is still a dozen days away but why not beat the rush.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/REWIND-DAVID-A-WARDLE-ebook/dp/B00ANX65M6/ref=sr_1_2?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1382270093&sr=1-2&keywords=david+wardle
http://www.amazon.co.uk/TROUBLE-CROSS-David-A-Wardle-ebook/dp/B00ANXF5CC/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1382270145&sr=1-1&keywords=david+wardle
In other news, the publisher who offered me a contract on "Trouble Cross" subject to my payment of £2,900, had another look at "Rewind" at my request following the Readers Favorite review. They still do not think it is suitable for their listings. Go figure. My non-adoring public have bought "Rewind" in the ones whilst "Trouble Cross" was once in a turquoise moon. You could say I couldn't give it away but you would be wrong. When it was free for two days, 108 were downloaded. Is everybody a freedownloader?
And finally, what has DM done to the team? No not that DM - although this could be termed a Danger Grouse. We can't end up as a Moyle on the bottom of the PL? Can we? Tenfold says we can. Worse than last year by tenfold - he he. At least we'll have Rio.
Don't forget! GOVEMBER!
Sunday, 20 October 2013
Saturday, 12 October 2013
COMPARE THE MERE DRAT DOT COM
Drat! Drat! And double drat! What is that your are Muttleying about Dick Dastardly? Ah, I hear you. It's as impossible for a new author to sell his e-books on Amazon as it is to win a Wacky Race.
Yep. It's drat time of the month again. No sales. Yet in the overall scheme of things "Rewind" has outsold "Trouble Cross" (if you discount the 108 free downloads of the latter which was meant to tempt people into recommending it to others and/or buying the other one.)
Let's compare.
"Trouble Cross" I wrote between 1996 and 2000. My challenge to myself was to write a comedy novel but as my type of reading and therefore writing usually concerns the godly against the ungodly, it had to be a comedy thriller. It is a fast moving plot which someone likened to a spoof James Bond which as it happens is apt because there is a spoof James Bond story within the book. See my W7 page on this Worst Blogsite Ever.
"Rewind" I wrote between 2004 and 2008 - notice the 4 year gaps, not planned and a bit spooky. The reason behind this is because of my constant hankerings to be able to turn back time and start again. I thought as this was impossible why not write about it so I did. What happens when you get to inhabit your eight year old body again knowing everything for the next thirty odd years - not what you might think. It was my intention to write another two books - provisional titles "Play" and "Fast Forward" - but as it never took off neither did these.
Both books have humour although TC is supposed to be more of a laugh fest. If though as the writer I had to split the two I would have thought that TC would appeal to guys more and "Rewind" girls. This seems to be the case because of there were three persons in my office who bought both quite early on - two females and one male. All three read "Rewind" first but only the guy read TC and he thought that was better. The ladies couldn't get into it.
A very arbitrary split but what about geographically. Well, when it was up for free the split between US and UK for TC was 53 to 42. "Rewind" hasn't been offered for free yet so there is no comparison there. Yet the website Readers Favorite were sent both to review and these are not allocated but are left available for any of their reviewers that want to select them "Rewind" was reviewed - did I mention that it got 4 stars - but TC has not been selected yet. Conversely, the UK publisher who had both has only offered me a contract - even though it is a contributory one - on TC. Does that mean "Rewind" appeals to Americans and TC to Brits? Who can say?
Why not do your own comparison. Samples!
REWIND
http://www.amazon.co.uk/REWIND-DAVID-A-WARDLE-ebook/dp/B00ANX65M6
or
TROUBLE CROSS
http://www.amazon.co.uk/TROUBLE-CROSS-David-A-Wardle-ebook/dp/B00ANXF5CC
The decision is yours.
Yep. It's drat time of the month again. No sales. Yet in the overall scheme of things "Rewind" has outsold "Trouble Cross" (if you discount the 108 free downloads of the latter which was meant to tempt people into recommending it to others and/or buying the other one.)
Let's compare.
"Trouble Cross" I wrote between 1996 and 2000. My challenge to myself was to write a comedy novel but as my type of reading and therefore writing usually concerns the godly against the ungodly, it had to be a comedy thriller. It is a fast moving plot which someone likened to a spoof James Bond which as it happens is apt because there is a spoof James Bond story within the book. See my W7 page on this Worst Blogsite Ever.
"Rewind" I wrote between 2004 and 2008 - notice the 4 year gaps, not planned and a bit spooky. The reason behind this is because of my constant hankerings to be able to turn back time and start again. I thought as this was impossible why not write about it so I did. What happens when you get to inhabit your eight year old body again knowing everything for the next thirty odd years - not what you might think. It was my intention to write another two books - provisional titles "Play" and "Fast Forward" - but as it never took off neither did these.
Both books have humour although TC is supposed to be more of a laugh fest. If though as the writer I had to split the two I would have thought that TC would appeal to guys more and "Rewind" girls. This seems to be the case because of there were three persons in my office who bought both quite early on - two females and one male. All three read "Rewind" first but only the guy read TC and he thought that was better. The ladies couldn't get into it.
A very arbitrary split but what about geographically. Well, when it was up for free the split between US and UK for TC was 53 to 42. "Rewind" hasn't been offered for free yet so there is no comparison there. Yet the website Readers Favorite were sent both to review and these are not allocated but are left available for any of their reviewers that want to select them "Rewind" was reviewed - did I mention that it got 4 stars - but TC has not been selected yet. Conversely, the UK publisher who had both has only offered me a contract - even though it is a contributory one - on TC. Does that mean "Rewind" appeals to Americans and TC to Brits? Who can say?
Why not do your own comparison. Samples!
REWIND
http://www.amazon.co.uk/REWIND-DAVID-A-WARDLE-ebook/dp/B00ANX65M6
or
TROUBLE CROSS
http://www.amazon.co.uk/TROUBLE-CROSS-David-A-Wardle-ebook/dp/B00ANXF5CC
The decision is yours.
KINDLE SURPRISE!
I know it's not Easter but who doesn't like an egg joke. No? Guess the yolk's on me then.
I have certainly been surprised by Kindle and in particular how hard it is to attract sales. My two books have now been out over 10 months and still not sold enough for me to have a peasant pittance let alone a royalty cheque. Of course, I am no salesman, and my marketing skills rate up there with Baldrick's cooking and House's bedside manner.
Even my U.S. review hasn't had any effect on sales. Yet there may be a reason for this because my books apparently were not up for sale at the time on Amazon.com because of outstanding tax information even though I am British. Go figure. Anyway they are up for grabs again now but the review is cold.
Well, it was but who would have believed it. Just follow the hotline below.
http://readersfavorite.com/book-review/12876
Now I would have you know that I am known for my tact and diplomacy.
BUY MY BOOKS!
Oops! Sorry that just slipped out.
I think I'm going to go on a blogathon today. Next up Compare The Mere Drat Dot Com
I have certainly been surprised by Kindle and in particular how hard it is to attract sales. My two books have now been out over 10 months and still not sold enough for me to have a peasant pittance let alone a royalty cheque. Of course, I am no salesman, and my marketing skills rate up there with Baldrick's cooking and House's bedside manner.
Even my U.S. review hasn't had any effect on sales. Yet there may be a reason for this because my books apparently were not up for sale at the time on Amazon.com because of outstanding tax information even though I am British. Go figure. Anyway they are up for grabs again now but the review is cold.
Well, it was but who would have believed it. Just follow the hotline below.
http://readersfavorite.com/book-review/12876
Now I would have you know that I am known for my tact and diplomacy.
BUY MY BOOKS!
Oops! Sorry that just slipped out.
I think I'm going to go on a blogathon today. Next up Compare The Mere Drat Dot Com
Sunday, 6 October 2013
Well, the review on "Rewind" has been out a week and what has this done to sales - you guess it, absolutely zip. Readers Favorite is a US site I believe and therefore may not have a lot of impact on the UK. This blog reaches about two people and maybe a dozen more stumble across it so the word - unlike the truth- is not out there. Yet no increase in US sales either but it could be my humour doesn't
travel well. I don't know if the reviewer is American but they found it "entertaining and witty".
Yet, my other book "Trouble Cross" was written as an attempt at out and out comedy thriller. When I offered it for free for two days at the beginning of August 108 copies were download and 53 of these were from the US store. None since and strangely not one customer review from any of 108.
What I need I think is for Stephen Fry to read one (or both of them) of them. With his 5,000,000 twitter followers, sales would rocket if he approved. On the other hand if he felt they stank then sales could hardly fall off could they. Maybe just the mention of his name may get some of them checking this out. A very intelligent guy and one who got me into reading Wodehouse, or rather I should say it was a bit of Fry and Laurie. Their Jeeves and Wooster TV series in the early 90's was my introduction although I didn't start reading the books until years later after I watched the series again on DVD.
I remember reading that Stephen Fry said he was panned by some critics who felt he was too old for the role of Jeeves at the time. I believe he also said that they had only tapped into about half the stories. What if they could finish off those now? Twenty years older for Jeeves would be OK but could Hugh Laurie still come across as the loveable buffoon after 8 years as the irascible House. The US would lap it up.
I get ideas like that. I once wrote to George Lucas to suggest that the Star Wars story carried on after Return of the Jedi in view of the many books that had been written to carry on the saga. I actually suggested a TV series - it worked for Stargate - but his assistant wrote back saying this was not on the cards and sending me an R2D2 bookmark.
I also wrote to Gerry Anderson with an idea to finish off "Space 1999" as a film called "Journey's End" but heard nothing back.
And I wrote to Tony Curtis with my idea for "The New Persuaders" with Jamie Lee Curtis and Deborah Moore to carry on as the next generation. This was a mistake and I should have written to Sir Roger but I had no contact address. TC was in the UK and had been on TV so I just wrote to the studio and asked them to pass it on.
I get these stupid ideas from time to time. I have ideas for my next book. I should be writing again because my usual 4 year gap between novels has now stretched to 5. The lack of interest in the current ones is affecting my enthusiasm I guess. I have two ideas in mind and have dabbled in the first chapters on both but not with conviction. If I ever get a following I might ask for a vote.
Anyway, not wanting to labour the point but if there are 5,000,000 twitter followers out there who can afford 97p then maybe I could give up insurance and write full time.
Think link and don't blink.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=david+wardle
http://readersfavorite.com/book-review/12876
Nanu nanu.
travel well. I don't know if the reviewer is American but they found it "entertaining and witty".
Yet, my other book "Trouble Cross" was written as an attempt at out and out comedy thriller. When I offered it for free for two days at the beginning of August 108 copies were download and 53 of these were from the US store. None since and strangely not one customer review from any of 108.
What I need I think is for Stephen Fry to read one (or both of them) of them. With his 5,000,000 twitter followers, sales would rocket if he approved. On the other hand if he felt they stank then sales could hardly fall off could they. Maybe just the mention of his name may get some of them checking this out. A very intelligent guy and one who got me into reading Wodehouse, or rather I should say it was a bit of Fry and Laurie. Their Jeeves and Wooster TV series in the early 90's was my introduction although I didn't start reading the books until years later after I watched the series again on DVD.
I remember reading that Stephen Fry said he was panned by some critics who felt he was too old for the role of Jeeves at the time. I believe he also said that they had only tapped into about half the stories. What if they could finish off those now? Twenty years older for Jeeves would be OK but could Hugh Laurie still come across as the loveable buffoon after 8 years as the irascible House. The US would lap it up.
I get ideas like that. I once wrote to George Lucas to suggest that the Star Wars story carried on after Return of the Jedi in view of the many books that had been written to carry on the saga. I actually suggested a TV series - it worked for Stargate - but his assistant wrote back saying this was not on the cards and sending me an R2D2 bookmark.
I also wrote to Gerry Anderson with an idea to finish off "Space 1999" as a film called "Journey's End" but heard nothing back.
And I wrote to Tony Curtis with my idea for "The New Persuaders" with Jamie Lee Curtis and Deborah Moore to carry on as the next generation. This was a mistake and I should have written to Sir Roger but I had no contact address. TC was in the UK and had been on TV so I just wrote to the studio and asked them to pass it on.
I get these stupid ideas from time to time. I have ideas for my next book. I should be writing again because my usual 4 year gap between novels has now stretched to 5. The lack of interest in the current ones is affecting my enthusiasm I guess. I have two ideas in mind and have dabbled in the first chapters on both but not with conviction. If I ever get a following I might ask for a vote.
Anyway, not wanting to labour the point but if there are 5,000,000 twitter followers out there who can afford 97p then maybe I could give up insurance and write full time.
Think link and don't blink.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=david+wardle
http://readersfavorite.com/book-review/12876
Nanu nanu.
Sunday, 29 September 2013
I DON'T BELIEVE IT!
Further to my post yesterday Readers Favorite are apparently the fastest growing book review site and according to their website they have reviewed books for James Patterson. Now to get 4 stars from an organisation that would review books from a bestselling author is not bad for a partial part timer. By coincidence I have just started reading some of his books in the past few weeks. Spooky!
Just in case you missed it.
http://readersfavorite.com/book-review/12876
http://www.amazon.co.uk/REWIND-ebook/dp/B00ANX65M6/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1380459797&sr=1-3&keywords=david+wardle
Just in case you missed it.
http://readersfavorite.com/book-review/12876
http://www.amazon.co.uk/REWIND-ebook/dp/B00ANX65M6/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1380459797&sr=1-3&keywords=david+wardle
Saturday, 28 September 2013
THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY
It has been a while as predicted - but then who has missed me? I thought so. Still for anyone that has been following my ill-fated quest to to get to the bottom of the worst seller list I have news.
The Good. "Rewind" has been reviewed by Readers Favourite and has received four stars which is only beaten by a five star general. Follow the yellow brick road to see what they said.
http://readersfavorite.com/book-review/12876
Yippee! Now hands up all of those who now want to read it. Good. Go to the top of the discerning class and now follow the thick as a brick road.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=david+wardle
The Bad. The publisher I had sent both manuscripts to at their request after I had sent them the usual submission have eventually got back to me. They are not interested in "Rewind" at all. Strange because in my world of few sales, this has far more. They are interested in "Trouble Cross" but only with an author contribution of £2,900. So unfortunately once again I am stymied in getting the books into actual print.
The Ugly. Well, that is just me.
Anyway, time to go and se if the new Everton B team have actually scored.
Nanu nanu.
The Good. "Rewind" has been reviewed by Readers Favourite and has received four stars which is only beaten by a five star general. Follow the yellow brick road to see what they said.
http://readersfavorite.com/book-review/12876
Yippee! Now hands up all of those who now want to read it. Good. Go to the top of the discerning class and now follow the thick as a brick road.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=david+wardle
The Bad. The publisher I had sent both manuscripts to at their request after I had sent them the usual submission have eventually got back to me. They are not interested in "Rewind" at all. Strange because in my world of few sales, this has far more. They are interested in "Trouble Cross" but only with an author contribution of £2,900. So unfortunately once again I am stymied in getting the books into actual print.
The Ugly. Well, that is just me.
Anyway, time to go and se if the new Everton B team have actually scored.
Nanu nanu.
Wednesday, 7 August 2013
Long time no blog. It might be a while too before there is any more. I am signed off work with stress and the chances of me writing anything funny are as good as Baldrick getting a first at Oxford and winning the boat race single handed. Those of you who tune in regularly will know none of the back issue have been funny anyway - oops I forgot I have no following only accidental browsers. This downbeat blog is a full stop on here, or certainly a comma.
There will be some new people looking because I only recently learned how to add my email contacts into a circle.
I have been trying to improve my French recently but I am bad at oral and practical. Things I think got lost in transalation. I am lost too now, in thoughts and feelings.
Anyway, now that you are all reaching for a bottle of pills, you can always buy the books where my humour shines through. A colleague reading Trouble Cross told me he let out a laugh on the train and everyone looked at him. That must be a good sign.
Incidentally, as a test I put Trouble Cross on a free offer for two days and had 108 downloads. As an experiment though it was about as good as my French because there have been no sales since or of my other book Rewind.
Time to go.
As a Mork of respect for those people who tell me I look like Robin Williams:
Nanu nanu.
Or as they say in France:
J'espère très sincèrement que c'est au revoir et non adieu
There will be some new people looking because I only recently learned how to add my email contacts into a circle.
I have been trying to improve my French recently but I am bad at oral and practical. Things I think got lost in transalation. I am lost too now, in thoughts and feelings.
Anyway, now that you are all reaching for a bottle of pills, you can always buy the books where my humour shines through. A colleague reading Trouble Cross told me he let out a laugh on the train and everyone looked at him. That must be a good sign.
Incidentally, as a test I put Trouble Cross on a free offer for two days and had 108 downloads. As an experiment though it was about as good as my French because there have been no sales since or of my other book Rewind.
Time to go.
As a Mork of respect for those people who tell me I look like Robin Williams:
Nanu nanu.
Or as they say in France:
J'espère très sincèrement que c'est au revoir et non adieu
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)