TURNING BACK TIME

How many people have wished they could go back and start again? Millions I would guess. I certainly did and still do.

That was my inspiration for writing "Rewind". It was easy to determine that the only way one could have things turn out differently if one went back with the knowledge that this was a second chance. That's what my main character does. He doesn't know why or whether he is mad or dead.

Back in 1971, in his 8 year old body and with 40 years knowledge. How could he fail to vastly improve his lot. It is not as easy as you think.

I started off with a bit of my own childhood because I wanted to rewrite my own life and see how it owuld turn out. I soon realised this would not work. If you 8 year old woke up and said he had come back from the future a straitjacket would soon follow. If you think that going back with knowledge brings happiness and riches you are in for a disappointment.

Intrigued? If so, follow one of the links in earlier posts.

BRITAIN'S GOT TALENT?

I have always wanted to be a full time author. Of course, that statement is relative. I didn't want to be an author as a kid for instance. In fact the only time I ever professed an ambition to do any particular job was at 11 when I wanted to be a footballer. The fact that none of the family were into sport and because of that I only started playing the game at 10, there was no way that was going to happen.

No, I mean from about 17 or 18, having been working a couple of years in insurance and looking for something better. The fact that I am still in insurance ?? years later is perhaps some indication of my prowess in the writing arena, or perhaps not. It may all have been so different if my first attempt had taken off. I was only 18 and my presentation sucked, so much so that I don't think any of the publishers I sent the messy manuscript too ever read it.

Over the years I have written 3 novels, all whilst working full time,and I still don't know if I'm any good. My first book was eventually published but by a vanity publisher - which I didn't understand about at the time - so no surprise it only sold 72 copies. My other two books have been available as e-books on Kindle since December - as anyone unfortunate enough to have stumbled on this blog more than once will know.

The thing is everyone and his dog is writing a book these days and even though, after strong hints from some people, my books are now priced at 97p each, sales are still way behind my first book. Now, apparently Amazon cannot let me know the number of hits compared to the number of sales, which would at least give me some feedback on how many potential readers looked but didn't like. My own research would seem to indicate that any search on genre would not bring up my books as they are so far down the rankings.

Word of mouth seems to be the best method of spreading the word but when you have the social circle of an Ebenezer Scrooge / Baldrick hybrid that is not easy either. This blog then is the only way of getting me out there.

YOUR MISSION IF YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT IS TO FOLLOW THE LINK AND HAVE A LOOK AT THE BOOKS. (see previous blogs for link.)

You don't need to buy - but where else can you get a good laugh for 97p - just post a comment on why you didn't.

For anyone with a competitive nature though you could take part in Project 200. I get no cheque until I have earned £100. Currently I am at £34 so at 0.33p per book I need another 200 sales before I need to bother the tax man.

There are allegedly some Kindle Millionaires out there but I don't know how they did it. There must be millions more like me who wait in vain to be discovered. Britain undoubtably has writing talent - I am not counting myself among them - and wouldn't it be nice if there was a show where someone could be discovered. If only I was a singer or dancer.

If there is anyone who visits this blog voluntarily I would be pleased to know what makes you come back for more punishment.

PUBLIC HEALTH WARNING!
As I am off work for a week with nowhere to go I feel obligated to make a daily entry here. 
(That might just be an idle threat though. We all get idle sometimes.)

FAIRY TALE OF NEW DORK

Being low in the Kindle rankings the only thing to do - other than ask you to denote 97p to a penniless author - is do something new which will be therefore nearer the top. Some years ago I started writing some proverb fairy tales. This may be my next effort although a completely different tack - that's kids stuff I hear you say. Would this then be of interest to today's hi-tech kids. If you have stumbled across this blog and are a parent ofchildren of fairy tale age why not test it out. Let me know via a comment.

Then later, after you have read them to sleep have a few laughs with one of my novels.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Ddigital-text&field-keywords=david+wardle

THE CAREFUL PRINCE

A long time ago in a far off land there lived a king and queen with their three sons. One day the king decided that it was time for his sons to go out into the world to seek their fortunes.

"Listen to me, my sons," he said to them. "It is time for you to set out into the wide world to see what you can make of yourselves. At the end of five years the one of you who has fared the better will be king when I am gone."

Now the eldest son was not happy to hear this for he felt it was his rightful place to be the next king. However, he could see that he could not change the king's mind and being strong on action, if also a little rash, he set out immediately, determined he would fare better than his brothers.

The other two sons set out at the same time but went their different ways. The second eldest was carefree and a little lazy. He liked nothing better than to while away the hours having fun. To his mind the task before him was too much like hard work but he did like the idea of being king so he took leave of his younger brother with good intentions.

The youngest of the princes was not as strong as his brothers but he was thoughtful, careful and kind hearted. Of all the three princes he was the one who was least wanted to be king. He was just happy to be travelling and seeing new things.

And so it was that the eldest son came to a kingdom that was in mourning because the king's daughter had been taken prisoner be a terrible troll. Basil, for such was the prince's name, was told that the hand of the princess and half the kingdom awaited him who freed her. At least, thought Basil, a chance for gain, and greed overcoming fear he offered his services to the king. All attempts thus far had failed and the king was glad to accept for brave princes were few in that land.

Off set Basil to the troll's castle which was two days ride away. At the end of the second day he sighted the castle but as he approached he saw that it sat high on a cliff and before the cliff was a huge ravine. Luckily, a tree had fallen across the gap making a bridge. It was too narrow for his horse to cross so he tied it to a another tree. Then he turned to cross the ravine.

"I would not do that if I were you," called a passing huntsman. "That tree is not secure and will surely topple into the ravine. If you travel east for two days you will reach the end of the ravine and find a path that leads directly to the castle."

"I have not got two days to spare," said Basil, and he walked across the tree to the other side quite safely.

Being strong and lithe Basil was able to climb the cliff without too much trouble and was soon outside the castle gates. Showing no fear he walked straight through the gates and was caught by the troll who put him in the deepest dungeon.

The second son, Bruce, did not travel as fast as his brother. His good intentions were soon forgotten as he enjoyed himself, stopping at every inn and tavern to sample their delights. At last he had no money left and was not welcome at such places anymore. It was at this time that he too arrived in the kingdom terrified by the terrible troll, a full two years after Basil. 
Having heard the king's plight he promptly went and offered his services. The king once again was joyful and he even gave Bruce provisions for the journey.

Now Bruce was not particularly brave and he did not make haste to the troll's castle. Before long, however, his store of provisions began to get low and he knew he could put it off no longer. By the by he too came to the ravine and found the fallen tree. Seeing no other way over he prepared to cross.

"I would not do that if I were you," called a woodcutter who was working nearby, and he gave the same advice as the huntsman had given to his brother.

"That is too far to travel," said Bruce, who even though he was not looking forward to climbing the cliff was too lazy to take the long safer route.

Unfortunately for Bruce the good living had taken its toll. He was now very fat and could not keep his balance. He fell off the trunk and into the ravine. The ravine was very deep and he fell past the barred windows of his brother's prison. Basil saw him fall but did not recognise him.

Benjamin, the youngest son, travelled at a sedate pace. He was carefree and willing to face whatever perils presented themselves. He had not been travelling for long when he came across a youth lying by the side of the road. A fallen tree lay nearby and it seemed that it had hit the youth on falling. When he came to his senses the youth told Benjamin how he had been cutting down the tree only for it to fall the wrong way. By good fortune it had only struck the youth a glancing blow, still it had broken his arm. Benjamin put him on his horse and led him home. The youth's mother was in despair when she saw her son because they had to live on the money he earnt chopping wood. With his broken arm he could not work.

"Fear not," said Benjamin, kindly, "for I will stay and chop wood until your son's arm is better."

So for a while Benjamin became a woodcutter. He always stood well away from a falling tree lest it fall towards him instead of away from him. Thus he fared well and though not skilled in the work he had no mishap befall him during his time as a woodcutter. Presently, when the son's arm was better Benjamin took his leave.

A little further on his travels Benjamin met an old woman who was making slow progress due to the two large buckets of water that she was carrying.

"Good day to you good woman," Benjamin greeted her. "Let me carry those for you for I can see that you are weary."

The old woman was grateful for the offer and Benjamin carried the buckets while she rode his horse. She told him how the stream had used to run right past her cottage but she had angered a passing witch who had dammed up the stream up in revenge thus making it flow on a different course.

"Fear not," said Benjamin, "for I will free the dam."

What the witch had created with a wave of her wand took Benjamin days to remove. Huge boulders stood in the old stream bed diverting the water from its true course. Benjamin toiled hard removing the boulders, always taking care lest on should fall on him. At last the final boulder had been removed and the stream gurgled happily along its old path. The old woman could now easily collect water again and Benjamin resumed his journey.

So it was with Benjamin. Whenever he came upon someone in trouble he stayed a while to help. Thus almost five years had passed  when he reached the kingdom where his two brothers had ended up. The king had given up all hope by this time and was near to death from grief.

"Fear not, Your Majesty," said Benjamin, "For I will free the princess."

At once Benjamin set off towards  the trolls castle and soon he came to the ravine. He noticed the fallen tree but as he looked at it a peddler passed by.

"I would not try to cross that way," he advised. "That tree trunk is unsafe and must surely topple."

"I was of the same mind myself," agreed Benjamin. "Is there another way to cross?"

"If you travel for two days along the ravine you will come to its end and there you will find  a path that leads up to yonder castle."

Benjamin thanked the peddler and started along the ravine, having first toppled the tree into the depths so that no passer-by would be tempted to cross it and so fall to their death. Just as the peddler had said , at the end of the second day Benjamin came upon the path leading up to the troll's castle. Not wanting to announce his arrival he left his horse at the bottom of the path and then stealthily made his way up to the castle. The gates were open but fearing a trap he kept to the shadows so the troll would not see him. In this way he came upon the troll without being seen. Quickly drawing his sword he chopped off the troll's head and placed it in a sack.

Benjamin did not know that his brother was a prisoner in the dungeon and so he started to search the castle for the princess. He found her in the topmost room of a high tower. On seeing her he was struck by her great beauty and loved her deeply from that first moment. Unlike her father the princess had never given up hope of being rescued and as he had been weak and so near death she was so radiant and full of joy.

Just as they were about to leave the castle they heard a loud banging from below.

"Troll! Where is my food?" bellowed a voice.

Benjamin went to see who it was that was shouting so and to his surprise he found his brother, Basil. The troll had been feeding him well so that he might feast off him later on. So fat was he now that he could hardly pass through the door of his cell.

They had only one horse between them and naturally Benjamin offered it to the princess. However, Basil said that he could not walk being so fat so he rode the horse. Whilst riding along Basil was thinking how he could be rid of his little brother. With Benjamin out of the way he would have the princess, half her father's kingdom and having fared so well would follow his father as king. At last he hit upon a plan and he awaited the right moment to carry it out.

"That night as the others slept Basil picked up a rock and hit Benjamin on the head with it as he lay there. Then he was able to tie up his hands and feet. Next he started to tie up the sleeping princess but at this she woke up.

"Scream and I will lop off your head," he told her. With that he placed her on the horse, mounted behind her and rode off leaving his brother to the wolves.

Presently Benjamin awake. His head throbbed madly and it was some seconds before he realised that his hands and feet were bound. By good foresight rather than fortune he carried a spare knife in his boot. With a little trouble he was able to free himself and then he set off at a run.

The next day he came to a stop outside a small town where a signpost warned of a plague. The town stood by a river and in the centre stood the only bridge for miles around. Better to find another way than to risk catching the plague, thought Benjamin, as he gave he town a wide berth. Even now when he desperately wanted to make good speed he took no chances.

This action added a week to his journey. When he finally reached the palace where dwelled the princess there was great rejoicing, much to his surprise. He had believed that his brother would have been made out to be the hero. Such was nearly the case but Basil had not taken care. Wishing to travel as quickly as possible he had ridden through the plagued town and over the bridge. Some days later, whilst celebrating his false deeds of heroism he took ill and died. The princess was then able to tell her father the truth but she had believed it to have been too late for her saviour. Now she was overjoyed.

Benjamin and the princess were married but he did not take half of her father's kingdom. Instead he took her home and on the death of his own father became king. He ruled wisely and carefully for many years.

WHAT WE LEARN FROM THIS

There is a saying which goes "It is better to be safe than sorry." What this means is it is better to take care and make safeguards beforehand rather than being sorry that you did not take them at a later date. Benjamin's brothers always took the short cut, whether through haste or laziness does not matter. By failing to take care and therefore ignoring the dangers they did not triumph. Time spent on preparation or precautions is not wasted but is in fact well spent. Benjamin knew this and by doing so he prospered.

THE BEST TWO BOOKS ON KINDLE?

Probably not but made you look.

The problem with Kindle books is that there are so many that an unknown author is so far down the rankings the books do not come up in searches.  If people were finding them, having a look and were not interested that is one thing but not even knowingabout them is another.

So you are here. Below are comments from an evaluation of my two books from a third party who didn't know me from Adam. They might be OTT but why not try the link if they tweak your interest. (By the way 'Tommy Trouble' was a working title and is now 'Trouble Cross'".

"I have now had the opportunity of reading Rewind and Tommy Trouble  both of which are highly impressive. They are as good examples of their type as I have read for some considerable time.

I have to confess, that I was so impressed with Rewind that I actually read it twice; once from an analytical, professional point of view, and once purely for my own personal pleasure. Quite simply, it is an excellent novel on every level and one which should appeal to adult readers from a variety of backgrounds and cultures, being particularly resonant with the late 30 and early 40 somethings, who will be able to identify with your narrator and protagonist, Jason, to a high degree. Here we have all the finest ingredients of a captivating novel skillfully blended together with a careful and expert hand, flavoursome throughout, and I was delighted that there was an additional kick of spice right at the very end, when I, as a reader, really thought there could be no more surprises.

 

In fact, the novel is positively packed with twists, turns and surprises and is totally unpredictable. For example, both the poem, 'Why?' and the Prologue, narrated in the third person, paint an incredibly sorrowful, melancholic scene and we think we are in store for a real tale of woe (albeit one which, as we can already see, will be well told) yet this is far from being the case at all. After the appearance of the Wizard God in Chapter 1, when Jason suddenly finds himself lying in his childhood bunk bed, there is, in fact, a substantial amount of wit, dry humour and real laugh out loud moments in the book. You do retain the serious nature essential to the plot, yet succeed in doing so without ever making the pace slow, the tone dull or the mood overly sombre.

 

As a writer, you are a natural talent, without doubt, and no diamond in the rough at that; your skills have been honed and polished and, partly because of this and partly because of the utterly mesmerising plot you have crafted, the book is an absolute joy to read. You subtly change the nature of your style so that it meshes perfectly with the content. For example, in the opening, you utilise short, staccato sentences and paragraphs to add suspense so that the whole section reads like an ominously ticking clock, whereas later in the story, when the young Jason, with his adult mind, begins to have a little fun with the life that had formerly disappointed him so much, your method of writing is much more musing and relaxed and, again, often humorous.

 

In essence, this is every adult's fantasy, and this is why I foresee it having wide appeal. Though few of us have reached a point at which we become so disillusioned we decide to end our life forty years to the day after it began, we all wish we had done things differently and, as Jason is given this gift of retaining the knowledge with which his adult life has furnished him, whilst, essentially, beginning it again, the reader is vicariously able to travel with him on this fantastical journey where anything can, and indeed does, happen.  

 

Personally, I found your use of dialogue to be amongst the strongest literary tools you have employed and one which has certainly been wielded to good effect. There is a large proportion of dialogue in the work and though, when acting as a consultant providing advice to aspiring audiences, this is something I would not advise, you have made it work and, I have to say, I am not quite sure how! Maybe it is because of the realism and credibility it lends to the characters and their predicament, or maybe it is because much of it rings so true; but, whatever the reason, the conversations between characters are a great asset to the work as a whole and introduce an additional element of drama. 

 

It is mainly for the reasons outlined above, as well as others - such as the edge-of-seat suspense with which the novel is imbued, the vivid characterisation and the sheer innovation and originality of the narrative, that I feel this work is one which would lend itself beautifully to a visual medium, with a film or TV script being, in a way, already half crafted. As the British film industry grows in terms of quality and demand, it is certainly not something which I would rule out.

 

What is, perhaps, most impressive about the book is that you succeed in drawing all the different strands of the plot together in what is a conclusion which the reader will find both hard to predict yet easy to believe. This is no mean feat when there are so many different narrative elements to the book and you leave no important questions unanswered nor any issues which may have been difficult to resolve hanging. You do, however, leave the reader with a positive feast in the way of food for thought and this is something which few writers have the ability to do, thus ensuring that the book is not only an entertaining one, but also, vitally, very memorable.

 

Tommy Trouble is every bit as an enjoyable read as Rewind, though it may lack the sheer force, the number of times I found myself laughing at your extremely witty dialogue does, in itself, make this a perfect candidate for publication. It is notoriously difficult to write novels which are really amusing, and not simply trying to be and the way you channel the great comedy authors, like Tom Sharpe and Kingsley Amis, is much to be admired.

 

The narrative is different, (which is great and shows you are no one trick pony) and whereas Rewind has a subtle sub-text and deeper meaning, Tommy Trouble concentrates chiefly on a rip-roaring plot, explosive amounts of action and quite often, utterly hilarious dialogue.

 

There are a lot of characters who play important parts, be they major or minor and Jenny, Jane, Peter, Cox, Chalky, Vicky and Clarence all play very specific roles. I am honestly amazed at how well crafted each of the characters are, how well they stand out, how three dimensional they are, and how you develop the personality of each one to fit their role in the novel perfectly. The characters, then, contribute as much to the novel as the plot itself.

 

And what a plot it is! It rather reminds me, in a very positive way, of a comedic James Bond novel with a twist. Thomas, from working at the offices of Pratt, Pratt, Wally and Pratt (which made me chuckle in itself) goes from being a somewhat ordinary character to one who performs extraordinary deeds, and, as we witness the plot unfold, his character burgeons and takes on fascinating and, again, amusing new attributes.

 

The book is a light read, stresses the importance of entertaining fiction better than anything I have read lately, and should appeal to a male reading audience of a wide range in terms of age and background; definitely a book with which I would part money to own."

 

There you have it then. I don't entirely believe it myself but let's see.

 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Ddigital-text&field-keywords=david+wardle 

THE END OF AN ERA

Alex Ferguson retiring - who ever thought it? And all done and dusted in days. The Emperor is dead. Long live the Emperor. (Eric was of course the King.) So today we get the trophy back and it is also it is Fergie's Swansea song at OT. Congratulations too to Wigan fans, hard luck to City fans and come on Leicester. 

Well, May I Day was a bust. There were 7 sales last weekend - better than nothing - but all in all the experiment failed.

There are some tweaks I wanted to make to the books but because of the way they were published could not do thiswithout the original files. I now have one of this from the publisher but CONFUSED.COM - alhough I use a computer all day at work I don't know about RAR files or how to edit a HTML. It is enough to give one a headache which I have literally.

Still managed a reasonable score on the Express Puzzles this morning even with the headache which has been hanging around for days.

 Not sure who visits this blog and if anyone does intentionally instead of by accident but please feel free to leave comments. You can even leave criticism for only 97p - just buy one of the books and get a free adverse comment.

Off to buy some paracetemol.

MAY I DAY

It's May Day tomorrow but I would like to please change it just this once to May I Day, in other words May I beg you to buy just one of my books.

Let me explain. I have been trying to investigate why sales are so poor - naff writing I hear you say and you may be right - but one of the things I spotted is that the only way I can find my books on Amazon is by author name or title. It is not coming up in search lists. The reason I believe is that I am so far down the rankings - around 375,000 give or take a few thousand on each book.

Now, I had a sale on each book yesterday - thanks to Sue in Leicester (a City fan - and that's not Leicester City - but we don't hold that against her) - and the books climbed 25,000 in the rankings. Don't ask me how because on that basis another 14 sales would get me to number 1.

Anyway, I thought if I would throw myself on the mercy of anyone that stumbled across this blog on the landscape to part with just 97p for one of my books. It's not the money - about 30p to me - but to move up into the rankings so they at least show in the searches.

REWIND is what can happen when one gets one's wish to go back and start again knowing what you know now. How can it go wrong? Easily.

 

TROUBLE CROSS - is a thriller that doesn't take itself too seriously but there's murder, kidnapping and double dealing all over.

 


Getting back to May I Day which is tomorrow, I thought why not set a challenge and see how many 97p copies can be sold in 97 minutes say starting from midday. If you don't have a Kindle I am reliably informed there is an app that can be downloaded onto anything or if you know someone with a Kindle why not twist there arm.

Just kinddling. It's rude to beg so I'll leave it there.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=node%3D341689031&field-keywords=david+wardle


In other news, I had an email from a David Wardle in Australia. I have been trying to track down someone I used to work with who last I heard had emigated to Oz with her boyfriend. A work colleague who is Australian went home recently and her mother placed free ads in various papers. This guy emailed me because his mother had the same maiden name as I was looking for. It wasn't the person I was seeking but I thought it was cool anyway getting an email from myself.

Have a nice BHW.

POUNDSTRETCHER

Well, I just had to do it. There is no other option. Either book now just ninety seven pence.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Ddigital-text&field-keywords=david+a+wardle+for+fiction&sprefix=humou%2Cdigital-text%2C743&rh=n%3A341677031%2Ck%3Adavid+a+wardle+for+fiction

What are you waiting for?