Wardle's Non-Wizard Wheezes
What does Harry pour all over his food at every meal?- HP Sauce
What was Hermione called before she made friends with Ron and Harry?
- The Lone Granger
The noble game of Quidditch was brought into disrepute yesterday at the inaugural Pro / Celebrity match held at Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, writes Rita Skeeter, special correspondent for The Daily Prophet, with the first player dismissal in over a century. For some reason, only fathomable to the organising committe, the referee was a reputedly famous Muggle entertainer called "Our Cilla". It was a closely contested match until the referee sent off one of the visiting team players, one John McEnroe (a dark wizard with a strange empathy for Muggles, earning his living by using his powers in a strange sport called Dennis), for excesive bludging. The aforesaid Mr McEnroe was outraged and as he broke his Firebolt XR69 over his knee, he was heard to snarl, "You cannot be Sirius, Black?".
Books What I Never Wrote
The classic one is How To Ride A Bike by Ivor Sorebottom but no oneat work had ever heard it. These are mine though.Beautiful Women Throughout History by Helena Troy
Incontinence - The Full Facts by P. Dalready
Deed of Daring Do by S Capade
Burnt Offerings by Joan O'Fark
